I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
