I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There's always time for handjobs
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
