She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I would ride that face into the sunset
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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