Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
