and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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