She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you had me at cake vodka
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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