HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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