$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
