if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
