At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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