I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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