Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i dont even know how to be here
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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