Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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