just come out here and I will go home with you...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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