this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
