Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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