She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
