I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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