no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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