I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
