i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
