another moral hangover. fuck.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
