Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Dignity is for republicans.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
