Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
