i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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