I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
