so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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