I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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