I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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