she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
don't judge my taste in strippers
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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