i just had sex bonerless
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
