i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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