I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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