I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
