wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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