waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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