i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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