just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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