I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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