The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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