Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
