Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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