I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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