I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
