You can't motorboat a personality
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
