I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize