I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My vagina is very pro this idea
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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