On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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