i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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