I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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