Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
They have beer where we have blood.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
