I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
