We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I looked at my own cervix.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
