i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
