OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
