I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
