can we get nightvision for the apartment?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
