Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
