Whod you bang
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
