so explain again why im purple
no
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize